Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Transgender Eulogy in Dance to the Noble Twinkie

Thursday.

I received an email today from the Artist Foundation, a local funding organization. They decided NOT to shower me with money. They’ve been around for 7 years, I think. I’m pretty sure I’ve submitted proposals for five of those years. All were turned down. This year I really thought I had a chance. The project (a larger version of Night Bloom, with ST Shimi) seemed solid, and, humility aside, my support material was killer. Well, fuck. Anyway, congratulations to those who were showered with money. I hope you choke on it!

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It’s just a little bit past noon. Thursday. After this second cup of coffee perhaps I should consider making breakfast. But, I’m thinking I should get out of the house and take a five mile run, and therefore a light banana smoothy might be the proper choice. I haven’t been running for over a month. And all the holiday food I’ve been scarfing has obviously taken its toll (I will avoid the scales for awhile, I believe). I can’t use the weather as an excuse to loaf. Sure, it’s a bit chilly. But the sun’s out and it’s a beautiful day. Also, that cold which had been bedeviling me for a couple of weeks is long gone. Can’t use that excuse either. So, that’s the plan. After, of course, I procrastinate some more with this business of typing.

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The Performance Party at Jump-Start went very smoothly. I’ve been involved in some of the previous years, but mainly as a contributing artist — the last four years I’ve made short films, and, also, the year before last, I was roped into a performance piece where I was expected to “act.” This year I made a short film. But because I’m now an official company member, I can’t really say no when I’m asked to get up on stage and perform. So, I appeared in the opening performance piece which Sandy Dunn put together. I also participated in the closing piece where I got to eat fire and play with flash paper.

During all this I was also up in the booth with Billy and Cezanne (running the video projection and helping out on the sound board). Controlled chaos defines the performance parties. There’s usually about 25 performances. Music, dance, theater, film, performance art, and the like. Each bit averages maybe 7 minutes. No one gets a chance to rehearse on the stage. The lighting choices are made on the fly. Music, video, lines-in for instruments and microphones … all this is sorted out as best as the crew can manage at the time the show is in progress.

One of the technical glitches that happened on my watch was when Aaron began his transgender eulogy in dance to the noble Twinkie. He’d given me a QuickTime file which had both the video and music for his piece. I had decided to play all the video clips of the evening off my computer using (don’t laugh) FinalCut as the presentation software. All went great for the other video projections. But for Aaron, all he got was the music — no video. (I’m still not sure how I managed to fuck things up.)  I don’t think it made a huge difference. Aaron’s damn charismatic, and he looks both hilarious and very sexy in drag. The audience definitely enjoyed it, especially when he got some people from the audience to join him and his friend (who was wearing a huge foam Twinkie outfit) on stage for some spirited line dancing. Sorry for ruining your video, Aaron.

Click here for a link to a snippet of the Twinkie performance.

I feel I redeemed myself when burlesque dancer Miss Pystol Whips took to the stage. For some reason her CD wasn’t working. She had come out during blackout, and was crouched under a white cape, waiting for the music. Billy kept pushing play. Opening and closing the CD player’s tray. Nothing. A stagehand crept out and led the poor woman off stage. The next performance began. A few seconds later, a breathless Pystol entered the booth and handed Billy her smart phone, with her music cued. She was then re-introduced by the MC and the music played. All was well. For maybe fifteen seconds. The music cut off as her phone began ringing. Billy couldn’t figure out how to hang up on the caller and get the music playing again. But Pystol, the undaunted professional, continued to dance sans music. Fortuitously, I had been curious about Pystol’s choice of music (I’d seen the track listing on her phone over Billy’s shoulder) and had Googled it and found a YouTube version. “Hey, Billy,” I said. “You want me to play this?” He said yes. So I did. I love these happy accidents of having an un-planned Plan B on hand.

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I did it. Finally, after a month of aimless sloth, I got back on the running trail. I ran from Brackenridge High School down the river trail to Mission Road this afternoon. That’s about three miles. I wimped out on the return leg and took it down to a walk at my four mile mark. When I checked my running app, I noticed I’m down from my 9.5 minute mile average to 10 minutes. Oh, well, it’s a start.

Here I am at the flood control station across from Roosevelt Park. And then there’s the very photogenic smokestack of the old CPS complex.

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It was a beautiful, sunny day. I’d forgotten how good it feels to exercise. As I was walking under the trestles of the Union Pacific tracks I noticed I’d received a text from a friend that artist Anne Wallace was looking for me. I gave her a call and we chatted as I walked back home. It seems I might be able to help out on one of her current projects. I’m excited to see what she’s up to. Her work is very diverse and always rewarding. In fact, I’d just crossed, twice, a footbridge embellished with her artwork on my run. And she’s the artist whose film I worked on some years back where we spent a wonderful couple of days shooting in the drowned and abandoned Mexican city of Guerrero Viejo, before the Zetas took it over.

I’m looking forward to what interesting possibilities 2013 might bring my way.

Have Camera and Bicycle, Will Shoot

It’s never really been my practice of making New Year’s resolutions. Basically, I rarely can stick to anything long enough for it to make a difference in my life. True, I’ve managed to lose over a hundred pounds in the last year and a half (kept it off, too — though I need to get out of this holiday malaise and return to running and eating less shit); however, that didn’t originate from a New Year’s resolution. So, maybe I am capable of sticking with a plan. So, how about I make a resolution to get back into writing more often (such as working on this blog again) as well as becoming more deliberate and proactive on my creative projects. 2012 was insanely productive for me. But, really, half or more of the creative projects I worked on were initiated by other people, and the energy I put into these things might have been better spent on my own work (or, maybe not — sometimes my own stuff emerges as fairly lifeless).

We’ll see if this happens. My last blog entry was about this time last year. And it begins almost exactly the same. 365 days between blog posts isn’t too encouraging.

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As I’m trying to make sense out of my work — reading old prose and watching old films — I’ve decided that I need to write tighter fiction and shoot looser films. I’ve generated about 42 short stories all set in the same milieu which I hope to weave into a coherent (though episodic) novel. The problem is that they are all over the place. They need some serious polish. However, the problem with my film work is the stodgy manner in which I tend to shoot. One of my favorite scenes is the dinner party in Sunrise, a short I did about this time last year. It featured Amanda Silva (one of my very favorite people) on a sort of rootless joinery through the city one night. Towards the early part of the evening she stops at the home of some friends where a casual, relaxed dinner party is underway. I shot it all handheld in an organic, intuitive manner as a real dinner party of some of our friends was happening. Everyone was having a good time and soon forgot all about the camera. They were all probably fairly drunk and maybe some rather stoned. I’ve tried to recapture this loose style to varying degrees of success. In theory it’s really simple to do — in practice, it’s irritatingly easy to fuck up. The other great success in loose and intuitive shooting was Night Bloom, a beautiful film featuring ST Shimi I shot entirely in slow-motion back in the summer of 2012.

And so, I decided to make a short film for the 2013 Jump-Start Performance Party with this fun and often successful loose and intuitive approaches to shooting, and, certainly, I wanted to shoot it in slomo. I wrote a little monologue about the uneventful passing of the Mayan “apocalypse,” and called up Martha Prentiss to star in the film. We recorded the audio in the afternoon, and as the sun set on that chilly day, we shot several scenes in twilight and darkness in the Southtown and downtown area. I cut the piece to about four and a half minutes, dropped in the audio, and added some pleasing ambient music I found on the Opsound website. I hit the final edit with some effects from Magic Bullet. But, it all seems sluggish and Quaaludy. Martha’s an extraordinary actress, I feel I should have managed to do more with her talents. But, ultimately, the piece, as written, has little depth to do much with. I think I’ll just look at it as it is: a polished bit of ephemeral work which was contributed to a festive evening of performance fun, one of the annual fund-raising events for Jump-Start Performance Company.

Another film project I approached with this loose style seems more successful. Though I haven’t yet managed a final edit, I think it works because it’s essentially a music video, which, because the editing is informed by a musical beat instead of spoken words, is a much more forgiving genera. This is the piece I’m working on with Zombie Bazaar.

Zombie Bazaar, on their FaceBook page, refer to themselves as a “Tribal Fusion Dance Troupe.” Giomara Bazaldua heads this group, and from a few sources online it appears they’ve been active for maybe four or five years. When I first heard of them I admit I dismissed them as just another of the many belly dance groups in San Antonio. And, add to that, I’m sick of all things zombie. But because they are one of the hardest working dance groups in the city — they perform fucking everywhere, sometimes multiple gigs per day — I’ve been able to see quite a bit of their work. A very interesting melange of styles. I love that the troupe is comprised of women of various ages and body types. They are also completely committed to group work, was well as reaching out to many of the same art and cultural nonprofit organizations I visit and work with. They’re also beautiful and wear cool costumes. So of course I said yes when Gio asked if I’d like to make a video with them.

The concept was to have the troupe riding around town on bicycles, handing out flyers to a performance. The video would end with them at that performance. We decided to break it up into two nights of shooting. The bike scenes one night. The performance another night.

It was a bit chilly, so I dressed in jeans and a jacket. I hopped on my bike and rode out to one of the cemeteries on the east side. Eventually, Gio and the zombies showed up, most on bikes, and a couple in an SUV. I was expecting the cops to show up, but Gio just shrugged and said they danced at night in the cemetery all the time. The dancers finished getting into costume in the dark. A few tiki torches were lit. The Patrón bottle was brought out. I had a couple of small battery-powered lights (we also pointed some bike lights on them) and I shot them going through a few dance routines.

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We continued to the Southwest Workers Union (where they often practice) for a few shots. Then Gio wanted me to shoot them doing some basic bicycle charro-style riding in one of the parking lots of the Alamodome. Then we took an interesting secret shortcut through the Alamodome to get over to the Alamo Street Eat Bar. After that, we did some shooting in front of the Alamo.

The final location was the rooftop of an old apartment building downtown. I’d shot there before because I know one of the tenants. I’d rather not name the building because we really didn’t have permission to shoot there. Because there weren’t any handy bike racks on the street, we crammed the lobby with about ten bicycles. We took the elevator to the ninth floor. Previously the staircase up to the roof had been open. This time it was locked. The only way up was to get out on the fire escape and climb a fifteen foot rickety iron ladder to the roof. And because there was a hump at the top you had to navigate, you had to pivot around to the outside of the ladder, with nothing between you and the street nine floors down. Only Gio and three of her Zombies were game for the climb…and if the four of them hadn’t bravely scrambled up, I probably would have opted out. But if I had in fact chickened out, well, I don’t think I could have survived such a savage blow to my already fragile machismo. It was, of course, a blast. It helped that no one died. I should point out that the climb down was slightly more unnerving.

The second night of shooting was much more sedate. Gio and Jessica opened up their eastside home for a backyard fan-appreciation-party / performance-video-shoot. It was a perfect cool night for it. There was fire-dancing and fire-eating, and I got to shoot some beautiful slow motion footage.

Now I just need to edit this all together.

A Tongue in the Mouth of the Dying

Lisa Cortez Walden, of Atta Girl Productions, approached me to provide a series of photographs to be projected behind actors delivering a dramatic interpretation of Laurie Ann Guerrero’s book of poetry, A Tongue in the Mouth of the Dying. The piece was staged at Palo Alto College on April 19th and 20th, 2012. The performers were Jesse Borrego, Selena Sue Navarro, and Monessa Esquivel. Music provided by the Marco Cholo Quintet (under the guidance of Jaime Ramirez).

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Below are the images I provided.

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Two New Projects for 2012 Under My Belt

Perhaps one of my New Year’s resolutions will be to return to blogging. However, I’ve so fallen out of the habit of writing that it might take awhile to get back up to speed.

These bleak, dispiriting days of winter have always struck me as a poor time to take stock of one’s past and plan for one’s future. I’d prefer that we would have our new year begin on the first day of spring, the season of hope and renewal.

2011 was. for me, a very purposeless year. I found myself, as is often my feckless manner, drifting from project to project. Somehow I managed to pay the bills and keep myself in coffee and tacos. Also, I managed to be surprisingly prolific with video projects. I have listed eleven creative projects on the “News” page of my website for 2011. They were all shot with my Canon 7D — in fact, they mark the very first pieces I did with that camera. They range from the ephemeral one-off pieces, to narratives, music videos, a commercial, dance collaborations, theater video designs, a community arts festival, and an experimental live cinema staged performance piece. In addition to these eleven works, I have helped out on at least twenty other projects. Some of these gigs pay. Most don’t. Probably I need to present myself in a more professional manner.

When I moved here to San Antonio in 2004 I found myself speaking often of the “film community.” I don’t use that phrase so much any more. There are many accomplished people in this town who share the same sorts of tools — HD cameras and nonlinear editing suites. Some are lucky enough to make their living doing this work, others are struggling. And though there is a spirit of sharing knowledge and even equipment among many of these folks, I don’t know if this collegial amicability can really pass for a community. Among the smug posturing and ego-driven neuroses, I keep hoping will emerge profoundly original work, or at least films with the beauty and luminosity of Chris Eska’s “August Evening.” Sadly, much of the local work (even those with polish and intelligence) seems to have been created by those who desire no more than to ape Hollywood.

This is partially the reason I have drifted into working in collaboration with choreographers and theater companies. General disillusionment and lack of resources, sure, but I have also been lucky to have befriended some outrageously talented people in the dance and theater worlds. And though this is clearly no way to make a living, it’s exciting to create work which you know will have an audience. Add to that the rush of excitement from an audience’s reaction to a live performance … not bad. The down-side to this sort of work I’ve become engaged in is that I rarely see in these audiences those people I once spoke about when I’d so frequently use the phrase “film community.” This was brought home to me during the annual holiday party put on by the San Antonio Film Commission last month. People would come up to me wondering where I’ve been, what I’ve been up to. The fact that I was closing out my most creatively productive and prolific year was lost on most, presumably because of a lack of interest in art and cultural realms outside their comfort zones. I’m a bit biased here, but it’s my opinion that they’re missing out on a lot of fun.

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I’ve fallen in with a pretty cool crowd. Since I moved into this neighborhood I’ve attended various performances at Jump-Start Performance Company. At some point they realized I made films. I have been invited to screen work for the last three performance parties. I have dragged company members such as ST Shimi and Lisa Suarez into my projects. And then, about this time last year, I was brought in to video tape those original shows produced by the company. Also, I was honored to work in a collaborative manner for the production “The Last Thing You’ll Ever See.” It’s nice to be so well regarded by a company of such diverse and wildly talented people. And for this year’s Performance Party I was invited not only to create a film of my own to be screened, but the company also requested that I work with them on a short humorous opening video.

Here is a link to the opening video, “Jump-Start University” (this year’s was a collegiate theme).

“Sunrise” is the film I created. It stars the wonderful and lovely Amanda Silva, and features original music by Lisa Arnold (AKA Fallinglisa).

Each year there’s a different energy to the performance party. This year seemed to feature less theater, and more video and dance. I was grateful that Aztec Gold didn’t drag me up on stage this year as they did back in 2011 (although is was kind of fun stumbling about in an improve performance…).

It’s nice to think that the year is only a week old, and I’ve already produced two video projects. So, what have you been up to?

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I made some major life-style changes back in late April of last year. Sensible diet and regular exercise. Sometime around June I began running. Well, sort of running. Run some. Walk some. Repeat. I progressed well for maybe two months. Then I fucked up my hip. What I believe was my gluteal muscles. After two months or so off, I slowly started back up again. Back in December I finally made it up to 6.5 miles. And none of that walking and running crap either. Pure running. Very slow, I admit. But technically running.

Since April 25 I have lost 70 pounds. Today I stepped on the scales and noticed that at 228 I am no longer obese, merely overweight. If the BMI (body mass index) is to be believed, all I need to lose to get to “normal” is 40 more pounds, give or take. Still, this is the “skinniest” I’ve been in probably 15 or 20 years.

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For Christmas my sister got me the new iPhone 4S. My old iPhone had gotten sluggish. And, really, I hated the crappy camera it had. All the perks of the new version impressed me, but mostly I wanted a phone with a decent camera. I had been impressed with the advances on those occasions when friends had me shoot them with their fancy new phones.

Not only am I in love with this stupid thing (and the voice recognition software on it is awesome), but add to the camera the Instagram app (which is free), and I can’t recall ever having as much fun taking pictures. The extreme filters and the square format are a bit corny, but I think I’ve managed to get some beautiful images with it.

Check out the grid of 15 images below I took in the last week. Pretty cool.

Summer Update

Back in April I finally began getting frustrated with how huge I’d become. Self-delusion can only go so far. The enormity of, well, me, became most noticeable when I was out on a film project. On those times I had to get down on the ground for a low shot, it’d be quite embarrassing struggling back to a standing position.

On April 25th I stepped on the scales and was shocked to see I’d ballooned up to 295 pounds. Certainly the heaviest I’ve ever been. During those infrequent and punctuated periods in my life when I’ve succeeded in maintaining some semblance of health, it’d always been because of sensible diet and frequent exercise. I can usually handle this, except when I’m drinking. And then, all bets are off. So, I stopped drinking, stopped eating so much shit, and I try and cycle at least a hundred miles per week. And in those ten or so weeks I’ve managed to lose thirty-five pounds. In the middle of June I started the “Couch-to-5K.” This is a self-guided program where in nine weeks you’re supposed to be able to run a 5K mini marathon. I’ve never run, really. And what I’ve been doing these last few days is more of a shuffle. And, true, I shouldn’t have chosen a park which is a ten mile bike ride away to do my running workouts, but I’ve survived so far.

It’s actually kind of fun. The weird thing is that over the years biking has been my main source of exercise. It’s no problem for me to hop on my bike and ride for a couple of hours. But for some reason the thought of running has filled me with dread. I’d tell myself I need to lose a bunch of weight before I can even think of starting. I’m just too fat. And I’ll tell myself I really don’t know how. Am I suppose to learn a proper technique? Oh, and then shoes. I can’t afford a pair of proper 100 dollar or more shoes fitted by a trained professional. And don’t forget the biggest mental block. I’ll look like a huge idiot.

There are a bunch of self-guided running programs free online. Most start you out slow, alternating walking and running, and building up to just running in a few weeks. I chose the Couch-to-5k. Three days a week. Thirty minute sessions. Nine weeks. As for technique, all I can say is when you’re horribly out of shape and jogging for 60 seconds is an ordeal, there’s really nothing to it. Just travel from here to there, but run, don’t walk. Jogging, like running, is when both feet are off the ground–and if you’re not used to it, it can exhaust you pretty fucking fast. I suspect that by walking at a brisk rate I can move faster than my current jogging form. Shoes? What I’m doing is so rudimentary that I’m happy with the pair of Merrell walking shoes I already have. As for looking like a huge idiot, well of course I’m sure I look foolish, but I find I’m too preoccupied with moving to really care.

Monday I finally felt some major improvement. It was Day 1 of Week 4. The workout portion (at this stage alternately walking and running) is 20 minutes, more or less, bookended by 5 minutes of warm up, and five minutes of cool down. This week there is  sixteen minutes of running, with 8 minutes of walking. But when the final portion of running was done I decided to see how much longer I could keep going. I added eleven minutes. Plus, I was having fun.

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It’s been quite a few months since I last posted on this blog. It’s not that I haven’t been busy. I have. I’ve just fallen out of the habit of writing.

I’ve had the good fortune to work on two performance-based works.

The first was Pintame de Alma, with Seme Jatib.

The second performance-based piece which featured my video was The Last Thing You’ll Ever See. This was produced by Jump-Start Performance Company. Written and performed by ST Shimi and Doyle Avant.

I did a little music video for the Push Pens.

I made a promotional video for Slab Cinema.

In fact, I’ve been quite productive so far this year. To catch up on my video work, head over to the “News” page on my website.

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There are seven pieces I’ve produced so far in 2011 I consider creative works.

Next week Shimi and I will shoot the third video in our collaborative hoop-dance series. The video along with Shimi’s live dancing will be staged at Jump-Start for an event the following week.

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Instead of recapping the last four months, here are some photo highlights:

Working on collaborative projects with creative people.

Hanging out with friends.

Exploring hidden corners of the city.

Sampling the, um, diverse artistic offerings here in my neighborhood.

Heading out on impromptu photo safaris along the new expanded river walk.

Et cetera….

Even Atheists Can Have Angels in Their Lives

[A blog entry I wrote Wednesday night, but am just now posting.]

I was up fairly early this morning. There wasn’t much to eat in the fridge which wouldn’t involve some chopping, and cooking, and, well, the washing of dishes. So, I made a large cappuccino for a liquid breakfast and caught up on a few science blogs. Around 9:15 Deborah called. I wasn’t sure she would remember that yesterday I had expressed interest when she asked if I might like to join her photography class out at Northwest Visa College. The exercise was long-exposure photography. She had gained access to the large theater. And armed with various lights — battery-powered LEDs as well as some strings of Christmas lights — she planned to have her students take turns moving around on stage in a darkened theater while wrapped in colored lights. The other students would be staged about, with their cameras on tripods, getting wierd and wonderful images.

The only problem with me answering Deborah’s call was finding a parking space at Northwest Vista. That campus is fucking nuts. If they have more students than parking spaces (apparently there is some agreement with Sea World to use some of THEIR parking — with a shuttle), well, all I can say is this incredible success story should be reflected in agressive pay raises to their instructors. But you know, I don’t think that’s gonna  happen.

I digress.

I ended up hanging out with Deborah’s students for over two hours. It was a very fun shoot. Also, she’s an amazing teacher.

Here are a few images I took:

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After the class I met up with Deborah for lunch at Los Serapes on S. Presa. I still mourn the passing of Pepe’s Cafe (in he same building), but Los Serapes is pretty damn good. The special of the day was enchiladas poblano. They were happy to make Deborah’s to order — stuffed with cheese instead of chicken.

We were eating enchiladas, drinking coffee, and swapping chisme in a southside Mexicano cafe. This, by the way, defines the San Antonio artist class.

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I had a 3pm meeting with Seme way over in her ‘hood. We were supposed to meet at the Olmos Perk, a pleasant laid-back coffee shop in the yuppie enclave of Olmos Park.

Deborah came along. She’s helping Seme come up with some art design for the stages of Seme’s up-coming shows. The dance and multimedia performance, Pintame el Alma, will be staged at the end of the month at the Instituto de Mexico in San Antonio’s HemisFair Park. And, again, the first weekend of May, at San Antonio’s Little Carver Theater.

The three of us looked at the video which I had shot back on Saturday of Seme and her three dancers. We made some decisions as to what clips should be included in the video projection component of the show.

It was nice seeing the clips with two other people, each with a different background, and each with a strong set of aesthetic sensibilities.

There was one point I found myself apologizing for a very poor composition on a clip I shot. “Oh, yes, it’s no good,” Seme said, making no attempt to stop me from moving to the next clip, nor did she make a move to soften her pronouncement with placating diplomacy. And I was in no way offended, We were all being amazingly candid. It’s wonderful being around other people with a common artistic language. This so rarely happens amongst my peer group. And I’m not just shitting on the local filmmakers (though most of them can neither compose nor light themselves out of their own assholes) — the lack of aesthetic sensibilities amongst so many of the artists in this city is simply amazing. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or vomit. I try not to do the latter in fear that one of these ham-handed naifs will scoop up my GI expulsions with his or her vellum MFA diploma and have it framed and hung in a place of prominence in his or her next show. We need educated and honest art critics working for the local papers in this city. A wake-up call is long over-due.

What was I saying? Oh, honesty. Yes. We need to be comfy when our peeps call our work crap. Because that might well mean it’s time to reassess. I’m trying to stop making crap (and yes, I know, I’m a damn slow learner) — so please, the rest of you, try doing the same. Pretty simple, eh?

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Later, when I returned home, I discovered that one of the recent video gigs I had done for free (and happily, I should say) resulted in a check in my mailbox. Wow! Money which I actually need.

Angels are everywhere. And I’m thrilled that some of them are my dear friends.

I should point out that the work I did on this particular project — like the video I shot for Seme — is damn fine. I am finally comfortable putting my recent video work against anyone else shooting in San Antonio.

Perhaps I should have higher aspirations. I’m an old man who has been doing this sort of work for almost a decade. But, what can I say. I’m a slow learner. A VERY slow learner…..

My One (And Only) Day of Official Fiesta Activity

(Written Sunday, Posted Tuesday)

It’s a quiet Sunday night. Fiesta is finally over. And to be honest, I barely knew it was happening. In years previous, I would make a conscious decision to avoid driving through downtown during this elven day booze-up. And, to be honest, that keeps me pretty well removed from the action. That is, of course, until the final Fiesta weekend. And then there’s no way I can ignore it. I live at ground zero of the King William Parade. The parade is staged two blocks from me. It passes in front of my house. It’s a blast. And it gives my neighbors, more gentile than trailer trash, an opportunity (by that I mean, an excuse) to begin a long weekend of family fun and binge drinking.

I awoke early Saturday morning. I’d been up late the night before, working on a few projects as well as formatting video cards and charging batteries for my Saturday morning shoot with Seme. I’d convinced her to shoot over near Roosevelt Park, because I thought the area was aesthetically interesting, and yet far enough removed from the Fiesta bullshit so that we could work relatively undisturbed.

A little bit before eight I headed out. Eight in the morning. My next door neighbor was standing at the curb with a champaign bottle. He launched a cork across the street. And he was answered by a single volley from the other side. And thus at least two Fiesta parties were suddenly underway with mimosas and, I presume, frittatas. (This is exactly why I miss my former neighbor, Alex. He would have waited until a reasonable hour to get up. Like ten minutes before the parade began. And then, if he saw me, he’d graciously invite me to join him in a breakfast of Lone Star Beer and barbacoa tacos.)

It was easier for me to walk to the place where we were shooting. The whole neighborhood was shut down, with street closures and barricades because of the parade. I had a shoulder bag with my camera, a spare lens, extra batteries and CF cards, and a bunch of filters. I also had my tripod and a monopod in a bag with a shoulder strap.

A block beyond the champagne neighbors I stopped to talk with Connie. She’s not one of the gentrifier’s. Her family grew up in this neighborhood. She had just finished driving some five-foot lengths of rebar into her lawn. These were to be the post to support the orange plastic contraction fence she was putting up. I stopped and raised an eyebrow. “What? I almost lost my lawn to the drought. It’s finally coming back. You think I want these parade people stomping around — urinating, even — on my lawn? They can set up their chairs on the other side of the sidewalk.” She caught her breath and started laughing. “You do what you have to. I mean, I love the parade. And I’m going to be cheering as loud as anyone else.”

I smiled and nodded and left her to her impromptu fence-building.

The site where I was to meet Seme Jatib and her dancers was about a  fifteen minute stroll from my place along the extended San Antonio Riverwalk. You go past Brackenridge High School, continue under the railroad bridge, and turn right on Lone Star Boulevard. It’s hardly a boulevard. But it is the street where Lone Star Beer once had their central brewery.

The place we were to to be shooting at was this weird industrial building which is used, somehow, for flood control along the San Antonio River. I really need to learn more about this structure. I’ve shot there before. I love the architecture of the place. There are several other matching structures around town which also seem to regulate the flow of the river. I think there might be a fun little documentary there….

When Seme showed up, we toured the area. She arrived with her husband, Kevin, and her fellow dancers, Serena, Tiffany, and Mario. We hit upon a few good places to shoot. I was shooting video on my Canon 7D while Kevin (a very accomplished photographer) was shooting still images on his Nikon.

I love working with dancers. It’s a simple proposal. Let’s say you’re a filmmaker, and people with beautiful bodies who are very accomplished at moving their bodies through weird and wonderful and aesthetically satisfying positions want to know if you’d be interested in filming them. If you shrug and mumble that, naw, you don’t really like dance….well, sir or madam, you’re a fucking moron. There’s nothing sweeter than shooting bodies in motion.

Here’s a shot of all four dancers in a playful pose.

Below is a raw and unedited bit of me shooting my friend Seme. Who wouldn’t want to to be running camera when beautiful people are doing stuff like this? So, you say you don’t like dance? What if you could take a camera and move into the flow of action and shoot people like this? Dance is about liberation. And people who hate it are afraid of freeing themselves. Oh, I know. I’m still one of those people. This is why I’m so enamored by dancers. They do what I dream to do.

Click on the link below to see some beautiful video:

vimeo.com/22638576

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I headed home and took a nap. The parade was over. And there was no reason to head over to the King William Fair. I resent having to pay to attend what’s essentially an over-sized block party.

And a couple hours later, after clearing off a couple of CF cards and making sure my camera batteries were all charged, I headed out. I had been asked to video tape URBAN-15 as they performed in the Fiesta Flambeau Parade. This is one of the last grand events of Fiesta.

My neighbor had my truck blocked in from all her guests attending her barbecue. It took a few minutes of moving three cars, and I was able to squeeze out of the driveway.

But, dammit, when I reached the URBAN-15 studio, the buses had already left. I let myself in. As I was using one of the computers in the front office to see what buses I would have to take to get to the parade staging area over near the Pearl complex on the other side of downtown, I was interrupted by one of the wives of one of the URBAN-15 drummers. She was helping prepare the post-parade party in the courtyard.

“You’ll never get there by bus,” she said. “It’s Fiesta. They’re all detouring and unpredictable.”

She offered to drive me as close as possible to the parade starting point.

What a relief.

I was able to meet up with the 50 or so URBAN-15 drummers, dancers, and support team. I knew that at the end of the parade I could get into the bus with them. This would work out perfectly, as my truck would be waiting at the other end to get me home.

Here’s a shot of one of the lovely URBAN-15 dancers getting ready for the parade.

Last year I also shot URBAN-15 in the parade. This year I was about 20 pounds heavier. And, occurring to two people timing the event, the parade moved much faster this year. Back in 2010 there were many occasion when we’d stop moving, and the dancers would perform for a section of the crowd. This was great for me. I could move around, getting some good shots. Last year it took about 80 or 90 minutes for URBAN-15 to complete the parade. This year it was 62 minutes. It was almost a run. And because I’m old and fat, it about killed me. I had to run forward, set up my camera on my monopod, and shoot the group as they filed by. And then I had to move, double time, back to the front of the group…and they were hardly ever at  standstill.

When we got on the bus, I was beat.

But it was a blast. I saw Cindy before the parade started. No surprise. She and Ray are in that neighborhood. And I’m pretty sure I saw Michael Soto. He and his family paused to have a picture taken with a couple of the URBAN-15 dancers. And along the parade route I saw, in the crowds, Veronica and Joe. I saw Max. And I also encountered some fellow video guys. Alejandro. And, later, Smiley.

Back at the URBAN-15 studio, everyone dispersed, stowing away equipment and costumes. Catherine stuck a beer in my hand, and I went out to chill on a picnic bench in the courtyard. After awhile the dancers and drummers began filing out. George made some speeches. The caterer explained what she had created. And then we lined up for eats.

The food was amazing. And the performance, also, had been amazing. This was a hungry crew feasting on their just rewards. Everyone was still stoked with adrenaline. I enjoy being around that kind of energy. After a couple more drinks and some wonderful food, I quietly made my exit.

Bridging Petty Divides

I hope I remember to get my IRS extension in the mail before the Monday deadline. I hate tax time. My returns are always so convoluted and daunting. But that’s not really the reason I have been filing extensions these last few years. The problem is that because all the work I do is of a freelance nature, and there is no employer withholdings, I tend to have to pay a sizable chunk to the IRS, even though I’m living at the poverty level. I did get a new camera and a new computer n 2010. Maybe if I completely write those off with no annual depreciation, I might soften the financial burden when I have to pay six months from now.

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I piddled away and did little of consequence today. Thankfully Deborah called up and asked me out this evening, thus pulling me from my malaise. She wanted to show off her new computer. We talked about our various projects, as well as Seme Jatib’s dance performances coming up which we are both helping out on.

I often find myself getting so pissed off that this wonderfully creative city can be so divided. We artists in San Antonio divide ourselves along class and ethnic lines. But we also divide ourselves along disciplinary lines. It occurred to me tonight, while talking with Deborah, that she has had an enormous impact on how I act around artists from varied backgrounds. She’s never allowed these old San Antonio divides to stop her from befriending and collaborating with artists from various backgrounds. And, certainly, there is no one in San Antonio more comfortable crossing cultures and disciplines than Deborah Keller-Rihn. Painting, photography, sculpture, dance, film, performance art, religious rituals, etc. She’s introduced me to so many incredible people. But also, she’s taught me, through example, how easy it is in this city to reach out to fellow artists and build rewarding collaborative work.

Also, Deborah and I know how important it is to use works-in-collaboration to try and bridge these petty divides.

We are both thrilled that an artist of Seme Jatib’s caliber was reached out to us to help on her up-coming dance performances. I will be providing video clips to be used for the multi-media projections. Deborah will work on the stagecraft design.

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Kiko Martinez wrote a piece about the San Antonio Neighborhood Film Project. I’ve only seen the online version of the article. I need to get the newspaper tomorrow. I’m curious if the group photo of me, Manny, Rod, and Scott (a photo, I believe, taken by Rod’s wife) is in the print edition. I have a couple of quotes. Pretty cool.

Click here for the newspaper piece.

I have no problem engaging with the media. I’ve been interviewed probably twenty times during the eight or so years I’ve lived in San Antonio. My pontifications have made their way to print, radio, and TV. Almost always I have been turning on the chin music, the balloon juice, the gassy blather to promote the works of other people. On rare occasion (like in this piece) I get to blow air into my own horn.

Follow the link above.

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I should be working on the first of two promo viral videos for the Push Pens. I was hoping the first would be ready tonight. But as it’s now “tomorrow” morning, I think we’ll have to wait until a Friday night release.

This first promo will be a bit of theater and a bit of music. We shot it in the theater. It will give people a good idea of what the show’s like.

Here’s a behind the scenes shot of the three Push Pens, with director Steve Bailey.

The second promo we shot last night at the PediCab Bar. It’s more of a music video. And we still need another night of shooting.

I was a lot of fun. I am so in love of shooting HD video with the Canon 7D. Stick a fast lens on the camera (I’m using a 50mm f 1.4 lens, which is longer than I really want, but it does look great!), and you’ve got a lovely look!

Bars are perfect places to shoot with these new breeds of HD video-enable DSLRs. Move your subjects around to the most flattering pool of light. Find a sweet compromise between ISO and f-stop, while keep the shutter speed at a 50th of a second (if you’re shooting at 24 frames per second).

The concept behind this particular Push Pens song, “Pretty Packages,” is that pretty people bring opportunities of love into your life often when you’re quite happily in another relationship. And the question is, how will you deal with it?

The Push Pens are Dino Foxx, Cros Esquivel, and Billy Munoz. Here Billy is the bartender. The two parallel stories are about Dino and Cros, two best buds, one gay, one straight. Dino is being seduced by a pretty guy; Cros is half-heartedly fighting off a pretty girl.

And there there’s Steve Bailey, the director of the up-coming Push Pens’ show at Jump-Start. He was there at the shoot, doing this great job of shouting out suggestions of what the actors should be doing. We weren’t running sound, so this was fine. But better than fine, it was a blast to have Steve on set. He helped to move things along fairly quickly. And he had us all laughing and at ease.

I’ve known that I would really like Steve for years, but he’s rather stand-offish. But lately I’ve been privileged to see him work. He’s just the sort of brilliant. committed, playful, wise, and sweet man I always wanted him to be.

Here are some screen-grabs fro the shoot.

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Saturday is usually my one time to partake of Fiesta (the two week San Antonio spring bacchanalia). This is the King William Parade. It’s a blast. It goes down my street. I love it.

But this year I’m shooting some video of Seme Jatib and her dancers for her up-coming shows in late April and early May.

Not hanging out at the parade seems so wrong! But I will be doing something equally cool.

I’m really looking foreword to this shoot with Seme!

I Love Working With Interesting People

Sunday.

I know I grumble with grating frequency about all the free work I do on other people’s projects. I’m beginning to wonder if I even like this film and video stuff. But back on Friday morning (fresh back from a week in el despoblado) I headed over to San Antonio College to help Amanda Silva on her new short film. I’ve known Amanda for about seven years. She acted in my third narrative short film, back when she was just 17. She’s smart, creative, and curious. Also, she’s involved in community-driven art projects. So, of course I was willing to help her out. Even is she hadn’t helped me out so much in the past on my projects, I’d still be keen to assist her in whatever creative ideas she wants to develop.

I showed up with an assortment of camera and audio equipment. She was also being assisted by Alejandro Rodriquez (a young filmmaker who’s been enjoying considerable success lately), as well as a fellow student from her SAC film class. As we moved through various locations on campus we were joined by her three actors. Alejandro was the second camera operator with a borrowed 7D. And because my 7D had a fast prime lens, I was shooting the close-ups, with Alex doing the wide and medium shots.

Our main character was played by a lovely young woman from Austin. It was a joy to shoot extreme close-up shots of her looking pensively off into the distance. The other two performers were also great to work with. It was a long and fun day of shooting. I enjoy Amanda’s company. And everyone else was also having a good time. I know that I collected some gorgeous shots of beautiful people. But, I hope that I was able to capture all the shots that Amanda’s going to need when she gets around to editing.

Here’s a photo of the lead actress:

So, last night I realized I have been working on three projects of late where I shot some lovely digital video on my beloved Canon 7D. I made a quickie video with clips from Amanda’s project: some stuff I shot while vacationing in the desert of southern Presidio County; and some tasty slow motion footage I shot for Slab Cinema (a project I need to start editing together later this week). But I was happy to be able to upload some beautiful images I had shot onto FaceBook so I could share them with others.

Click on this link to view the video.

Tonight I went out to a parking-lot on the northside to watch URBAN-15 in a dress rehearsal for their upcoming performance in Fiesta’s Flambeau Parade. I shot some video and made a quick edit which I uploaded to FaceBook.

Click here to see URBAN-15.

And tomorrow I’m working with the Push Pens at Jump-Start Performance Company. I’m shooting a part of their upcoming show. Some video they can use to promote the show. And Wednesday night, me and the Push Pens will shoot one of their poems / songs as a sort of music video. I’m looking forward to both nights.

Even though only one of these five projects will pay me, I’m still having a blast. It really comes down to a question of who I’m working with. These are all people who smile at me and seem to enjoy my company. And I like them, too. So, if you want my help, and I’m being vague or uncommunicative, it’s probably because I think you’re an asshole and/or an individual with the aesthetic sensibilities of a flatworm or someone who works in public relations.

If I like you, you probably know it (I sure hope so!), and if I don’t, well, please stop calling. You’re giving me the creeps.

Enjoying My Non-Illegal Contraband

It’s Friday night now. Last night I arrived back home to San Antonio from occupied Redford,Texas. The whole of southern Presidio County is (as usual) lousy with Border Patrol and other assorted men in uniform terrorizing the locals.

The plan was to get away for a week or so and visit my friends down in the desert. Also, I thought I might shoot some interviews of people, with a bit of cacti and mountains thrown in for b-roll, and see if I might return with something I could submit to the Texas Monthly film contest.

The first person I interviewed was Rosendo Evaro. When I lived in Redford, about twenty years ago, Rosendo was already an old man. Now he certainly qualifies as one of the town’s elders. I’ve always enjoyed Rosendo’s wry humor. But as Redford’s most committed capitalist, perhaps not everyone is a fan. Years ago, when he was farming cotton on his land, day laborers would come and work in the fields (back then it was legal along the border). One of the guys from Palomas (the tiny town across in Mexico) wrote a corrido about Rosendo, claiming he was so pinche that he paid a one-legged man only half a days wage, because he was only half a man. I assume it loses something in the translation. And, really, who of us gets to have a corrido written about him. I believe Rosendo’s somewhat proud of this fleeting fame.

Rosendo has spent his life trying to scrape a living in the poorest region in the poorest county in Texas. Through hard work he’s managed to take care of his family. But it was never easy. and because of his tenacity (opportunism, if you will), Rosendo’s life parallels the ups and downs of the Redford economy.

The problems in the farming industry in Redford are rather complicated, involving the US government’s slippery laws which allowed, at times, Mexican day laborers to freely cross in the border regions, as well as NAFTA, which did a number on small farms along the US-Mexican border, on both sides. But by the time I arrived in Redford in the early 1990s Rosendo had stopped farming. He rented his land out to other families. The cash crop at the time was alfalfa, and Rosendo’s hay fever forced him to change careers.

When I moved to the area, Rosendo was the hardest working man in the town. He was about 60 at the time. He turned his old packing shed into a convenience store. He also built several apartments which he rented out to the Outward Bound field school. The Redford Post Office was moved into the store and Rosendo became the local Postmaster (the previous Postmistress had worked out of the living room in her house half a mile down the road). And Rosendo also drove the school bus. (The story of education in Redford is long and sad — Redford is in the Marfa school district, and there was a time when they bused the kids to school ninety miles away.)

As I interviewed Rosendo, I was surprised to learn that his convenience store had been built just a year before I arrived. It had seemed so well integrated into the community.

Everything seemed to be going fairly well for the year or so I lived there.

But things started to really go down hill when high school student Esequiel Hernandez was gunned down by an ill-trained group of Marines on a covert operation as part of this obscene “war on drugs” (which is quickly morphing into the Mexican front of the “war on terrorism”). Half of the town was related to Esequiel, and everyone loved him. Even the infamously pinche Rosendo dug deep into his savings to help send a delegation of Redford citizens to Washington and remove the Marines from the border.

Because there are already plenty of documentaries about this horrible incident, I never asked Rosendo to talk about Esequiel. Besides, I knew it to be a very painful memory, still.

Instead, he told me that because the Marfa Independent School District shut down the one-room school house in Redford and took with them that little bus, Rosendo lost one of his many jobs. With no school, they had no need for a school bus driver.

And then the war on terrorism. A month after 9/11 the federal government closed all the legal crossings in Big Bend except for the International Bridge at Presidio / Ojinaga. The footbridge at Candelaria was dismantled. The chalupas (the little boats) at Redford, Lajitas, Boquillas, etc. were all shut down.

And this is why Rosendo closed his store. You see, the population of the little hamlets across the river in Mexico is greater than on the US side, and therefore the majority of Rosendo’s customers were coming from Mexico. Remember, this was a legal crossing. And when it was shut down, it wasn’t just commerce which was impacted. There were families divided. Siblings, cousins, and even parents and their children were suddenly denied what was once their sense of extended community. And then there was Rosendo. He told me with a smile and a shrug, “I remember the year I sold 35 thousand dollars of Bud Light. But when the chalupa stopped running, I couldn’t go on.”

In 2008 a huge flood came into Presidio and Redford. Heavy rains were filling the reservoirs in Mexico which were fed by the Rio Conchos. The Mexican authorities began releasing enormous amounts of water to control their flooding. But the Conchos feeds directly into the Rio Grande. This was the worst flood in recorded history for the region. Redford was cut off. The river road was washed away both towards Presidio and towards Lajitas. The entire farming fields were inundated. The levee was destroyed. And when the waters receded, requests for federal assistance were met with a terse reply that the land wasn’t of great enough value to rebuild the levee system. Nothing has been done to restore the farm lands.

And then there’s the Outward Bound field school. I don’t know how long they’d been in Redford. But I do know two important things. Their Big Bend adventures were immensely popular. And they were a huge economic driver in a town which could no longer farm. The organization rented houses and apartments from five families that I knew of. They also paid some of the locals to use their land up in the foothills of the Bofecillos Mountains for camping. No one in Redford has a clear idea of why Outward Bound pulled their most popular school. The speculation is that the continued government propaganda that Redford is the drug capital of the southwest had given them cold feet. (I know these people. The only citizens of Redford with enough money to need a financial advisor would be the parents of Esequiel Hernandez who were awarded a couple million from the US government who murdered their son, the most innocent person on the border.) So, without the Outward Bound rent, Rosendo has placed a big For Sale sign in front of what was once a decent operation. But now it’s just a cluster of empty buildings in front of a half-mile strip of dusty and now un-irrigable farmland which runs down to a river patrolled by paranoid passive-aggressive assholes, the Border Patrol, who seem to mainly consist of skittish city-boys in their mid-20s.

Que cosa!

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The other interview I did was with my friend Enrique Madrid, If you’ve ever seen a documentary about the Big Bend region, it’s likely to feature Enrique. Even the great Michael Wood talked with Enrique in the Cabeza de Vaca section (“All the World is Human”) of his four part BBC production, Conquistadors. You can see him in Alan Govenar’s excellent documentary, The Devil’s Swing. He’s a prominent figure in heart-breaking POV documentary, The Ballad of Esequiel Hernandez. He’s also in this low budget documentary about the closing of the Texas border crossings called, I believe, The River Never Divided Us. It’s weird, but I have seen all these four films in the living room of Enrique and Ruby Madrid’s home, in Redford, Texas. And each of these viewings would slip into deep and lengthy discussions of border issues.

Anyway, all I wanted from Enrique was something light and simple. I hoped to create a short film which, if nothing else, would be a vehicle to humanize these beleaguered people who have been shamefully libeled as immoral criminals.

After an amazing meal of asada, with rice and beans and homemade corn tortillas, I set up my camera in the Madrid’s backyard. It was night. The clear sky brought down Orion and the Pleiades, close enough to touch. I set an old steel tubed chair in from of a mid-sized cactus tree. I placed my little battery-powered camera light on a battered table off to an angle. And then I coaxed Enrique into the hot seat. I wired him up with a lavaliere microphone and he told me about what this little town was like when he was a kid. He told me about the Gypsies who used to come across from Mexico. They’d buy goods from his father’s shop. And they’d read palms, tell fortunes, and they would show films from an old rickety 16 millimeter projector against the white washed wall of the adobe church. He told of the old timers who still followed the Indian ways of their grandparents, building sweat lodges, fashioning moccasins, and giving morning thanks to the gods of nature, such as Sierra Rica, the mountain to the south which brings the rains. He told me about the current economic privations, as well as the intrusive nature of all the armed men in uniform on the border. “They say that every seven seconds men think about sex.” Enrique looked down at his hands. Then he looked back up. “Every seven seconds, we think about the Border Patrol.” He paused. “I wish we could think about sex.” His thoughts on the future of Redford were not terribly heartening. But, because Enrique identifies with his Jumano Indian ancestors who have been in the area of for thousands of years, he takes the long view. “Our people have been farming this region for over 3500 years. I suspect we’ll be here for thousands of more years.” He shrugged and offered a sad, pragmatic smile.

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Before heading back from the Big Bend, I harvested a medium amount of popotillo (AKA, Mormon Tea, Apache Tea, Ephedra, Soma, etc.). This common desert shrub is perfectly legal. You boil the sticks for about 20 minutes. The infused water is a great relief for bronchial obstruction, such as that caused by asthma. But it also gives you a bit of a lift, but not so ragged as caffeine. Back when I lived in Redford I would take ten mile hikes during the insanely hot afternoon hours. My canteen was usually filled with popotillo water. Refreshing, and you could walk forever.

I also was carrying three leafy branches of creosote (AKA, Greasewood). My sister wanted this common desert plant to hang in her home. Creosote is a humble and ignoble botanical critter, beautiful in its own way. Whenever I walk past a creosote plant — especially if it’s dried and dying — I reach over, strip off some of the leaves, rub them to dust in my hands, and then I inhale the scent from my hands. It’s the smell of the desert. A mixture of ozone, blood, and soil. When rain falls in the Chihuahua Desert, the smell is magical, evocative — it’s the smell of water on the backs of the dry and thirsty creosote bushes.

Anyway, I made sure to put these suspicious botanical samples in the bed of my pick-up. On my drive from Redford to Dallas I passed through two (or was it three?) Border Patrol checkpoints. I only noticed confusion once. The guy was leaning over the edge of my truck, clearly looking at the plants, which were openly displayed. He blinked and wet his lips. And instead of asking “what the fuck is that?”, he stepped back from my truck, swallowed, and told me to have a nice day as he waved me through.

I wanted to wink, and tell him that I thought about him every seven seconds, but I just returned his guy-to-guy nod, and drove on.

Fuck the border. All borders. We’re human. This is our planet. Goodbye nation states, goodbye. Brothers and sisters, you’re now free to walk around your world. I hope to see you all soon!

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Here’s a pretty picture I took of the Rio Grande.

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And here’s a taste of my next blog post. This is a still from a film I’m shooting for my good friend Amanda Silva.

And so now, good night!